NEWSFLASH - THE MOON IS ON THE EARTH

I was reading the highly informative feature section on the MSN website. Travel Editor, Simon Busch was feeling whimsical enough to compile a list of the most boring places on Earth. Fair enough, some places are pretty boring, but in the grand scheme of things even Coventry is pretty luxurious, with its lack of starvation, relatively adequate sanitation facilities and abundance of roundabouts. Just because somewhere doesn't provide all the vim and vigour that one may personally require to make their own beige existence more acceptable to them, that doesn't mean to say it's all Slough's fault. I think people should make their own fun and quit whining.

Still, kudos to Simon for thinking out of the box on his feature:



The issue being that, as far as I'm aware, the moon isn't 'on Earth'. In fact, the picture itself shows the moon as a different entity to Earth. Is a picture editor having a quick chortle to himself here? Or does Simon know something we don't?

To be honest, making fun of MSN's editorial frontliners is a bit of a low blow. Most of these people are operating on around 12p an hour, having to churn out 'content' which is 'accessible' to a 'wide audience' under 'demanding time pressures'. All of which combines to make for pretty atrocious reading. And I haven't even started on the comments below the articles, which I shall refer to as 'ENGAGE GUFFHOLE'.

Still, there lesson here is pay peanuts, get monkeys. Not that Simon Busch is a monkey, but the readership is certainly being treated like one. A bulbous, collective monkey brain, babbling incoherently about Katie Price while gyrating against the activity play area in their local park.

What does 'Rave' look like?

Does it look like this?


Maybe. What about this?


Perhaps. And this?


Quite possibly. How about this?


Definitely. But this?


Certainly not.

Remember, kids: 'rave' is not synonymous with 'party'. Any rave-party mix-ups will guarantee your twattish impression on whoever you talk to. Haviong said that, if you're the kind of person who is vaguely tempted to use the word 'rave' instead of 'party', then you're a bonefide twat anyway. And if you are, then sorry, but you can't buy any skiing or outdoor adventure holidays here. Nor do I provide fast-track graduate schemes. Nor am I a consultant of any kind. Actually, yes I am: I am a 'cool consultant'.

Only joking.