The Man is not for Twitting

I ruddy hate Twitter. Everyone babbles on about it like it's the second coming. In a way it is - it's the technological equivalent of a circle jerk that everyone can get involved with, thus guaranteeing multiple orgasms. However, I do like pop blog Popjustice as it is rather irreverent, a bit like I am. So imagine my utter aghastment when someone pointed out something of particular interest to me, spaffed out by Peter 'Popjustice' Robinson on interweb multigasm facilitator Twitter! My goodness! Will my head explode?!:



Allow me to explain. Many moons ago in the Greater Liverpool area, there was this band called Trilby. Their former drummer's uncle was Paul McCartney. Trilby were quite good and they had this rather good song called 'Edith'. However, fame did not come a-knocking, but Trilby have plodded along in various guises ever since, over the last 8 years or so. Their most recent incarnation, The Hot Melts (yes a band, not an aspirational sandwich solution) have received a bit of coverage. Very good news, I agree. It's nice to know that hard work pays dividends, even in the cold, cruel tundra of the music biz. But wait! Not all is as hunky-dory as once seemed. It appears that The Hot Melts have pulled 'Edith' out of the bag once more, one last throw of the pop-rock dice, before casting it into the bowels of hell, or at least the bargain bin. I can't work out whether the constant peddling of this song is a testament to its innate quality, an admirable perseverance, or just a general irritation. Help me out, here.

Do listen to it though, I'm still rather fond of it. And perhaps P-Rob would have been, had he listened to it. I doubt it though - for as amiable as he is as a chap to talk to, he knows what he likes and I don't think this is it.

My Future Of Music Is.... Spotify

Welly welly well, have you heard enough about Twitter? No? Go put your head in a cement mixer. If you're still here, forget about Twitter. It's rubbish. It's full of people who think their every fart is worth documenting. It's like they've taken the single most irritating facet of Facebook - that of the overcreative use of status update - and launched it on its own platform, assured that Twitter is such a genius idea that it doesn't need anything else, like, you know, a point. The fact is, Twitter, that the only solo project that has improved anyone's life was Paul Simon's 'Graceland'. Not even Rocky running up them steps comes close. You might as well give up. No-one's going to buy Twitter, you nincompoops. No-one. Not even the British government and they buy anything, including my (used) socks.

So forget about all this 'POWPOWPOW is currently sitting at the computer updating the POWPOWPOW Twitter account' nonsense. Get a Spotify account. It's changing the face of music, how you acquire it, how it is accessed and produced, and how revenues will be derived. Spotify is like a huge database of music. It's like Napster, in its vastness, except instead of downloading files illegally, you stream them legally. And instead of waiting for some chump in Boston to come online so you can suck up some My Vitriol loving, it's centrally planned and ready to go ON DEMAND. You get thrown some adverts now and then, say once every 20 minutes, and that's the down side. It's not really a down side, considering you are exposed to adverts:

1) On the TV.
2) On the vast majority of radio stations.
3) Outside.

So basically you're paying with the utter inconvenience of doing something you already do all the time anyway. OH BOO HOO.

My favourite bit is the ease with which you can make your own playlists, and share them. You can even make them collaborative, so if you're chatting to a friend in the pub, they can be all like 'have you heard this banger?' and you'll be all like 'no?' and they'll be all like 'well I'll put it on our joint Spotify collaborative playlist' and you'll be all like 'o rly?' and they'll be like 'yea rly!!!1'. That simple.

For starters, here's the official BANGBANGBANGPOWPOWPOW playlist for you to slap your sweaty chops around.

And try it yourself, little doggies! In the distant World Gone Right, people like you will be sitting around, talking about their first Spotify experiences. And then you can mention POWPOWPOW. Lovely.

Spotify Official Website